


Karkalicious

by CryptidNicholas



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Meteorstuck, One Shot, Retcon Timeline, Short, i wrote it really quickly, karkalicious nostalgia, sorry if this isn't a super great fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22077364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CryptidNicholas/pseuds/CryptidNicholas
Summary: Karkat wrote and recorded a song while he was drunk. Vriska finds it and makes fun of him which leads to Karkat having a feelings jam with Dave and in which he makes a confession.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	Karkalicious

**Author's Note:**

> If you've never heard the song Karkalicious, this is it:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWcb2pdgZTc

Dave had just transportalized into the common room and was instantly greeted by the hollering laughter of Terezi and Vriska who were over by the table where Dave’s laptop and music making equipment had been left the day before.

Vriska was wheezing and bracing herself against the table while Terezi was on her knees on the floor with tears streaming down her face from laughing so hard. The two trolls didn’t even notice Dave walk over until he spoke.

“What the hell is going on over here?” Dave asked.

“OH MY GOD, DAVE!” Terezi shouted but couldn’t keep talking due to laughter.

“Dave! Were you responsible for this?!” Vriska cackled.

“Responsible for what?” Dave asked.

“For…” Terezi wheezed. “For… OH MY GOD!” She breathed hard and tried to wipe the tears from under her glasses.

“For Karkat’s remix.” Vriska said, trying to still her laughter.

“Karkat made a remix?” Dave asked.

Terezi nodded but still couldn’t say much.

“Strider, you have to listen to this!” Vriska said, picking up the headphones off of the table and putting them on Dave’s head before smacking the spacebar on the computer.

“Four, three, two, fuck you” was the first thing Dave heard and he couldn’t help but crack a smile once the rest of the lyrics began. He couldn’t contain his laughter for long no matter how much he tried to hide his emotions.

“Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail” was the part that got him cackling.

By the time the song was over he was holding his ribs as he tried harder than he ever had not to giggle like a maniac.

He tossed the headphones on the table and after a moment, Karkat transportalized into the room. The three looked at him before looking at each other and resuming their laughter harder than before. Dave finally let himself go and was holding his stomach with both hands as his laughter reverberated through the room.

“What the fuck are you people laughing at?” Karkat asked as grumpy as ever. His hair was a ratted mess and the bags under his eyes were thicker than usual. He stomped toward them and Dave took and few steps toward Karkat as he laughed.

Dave met him halfway and hugged him, much to Karkat’s surprise.

“You’re incredible.” Dave wheezed between laughs. “You’re my best friend and you are the most incredible person I’ve ever known.” He continued.

Karkat scrunched up his face and wriggled out of his grip. “What the fuck is going on?” He asked, softening his expression a little and trying to deny himself the enjoyment of his best friend’s laughter.

“Oh my god, Karkat!” Terezi exclaimed. “Oh MY god!”

Karkat looked back and forth between all of his laughing friends with an eyebrow raised before realizing that they were all huddled around the music equipment when he walked in. His expression dropped with his heart, remembering what he had done last night while he was drunk.

“OH GOD!” Karkat exclaimed as his cheeks went bright red.

“Karkat!” Vriska exclaimed. “Thank you! You have made my day so much brighter!”

Karkat’s eyes darted back and forth to all of the people in the room before he took off running to the transportalizer and disappeared.

Karkat had run to his room and locked his door in embarrassment, not wanting to confront the world outside his respiteblock. It was only after a few hours that a knock was heard at his door.

“GO THE FUCK AWAY!” Karkat yelled from inside.

“Bro, come on.” Dave’s voice came from outside. “Talk to me, man.”

“NO!” Karkat exclaimed.

“Come on, Karkat. Please?” Dave called.

Karkat hesitated but slowly opened up the door and stared at Dave who was smiling at him.

“Can I come in?” Dave asked.

Karkat let out a huff of angry air but let his best friend into the room before closing the door and going to sit down on the floor against the wall. Dave joined him.

There was about a minute of silence before Dave looked down at Karkat and grinned. “So… What’s up Karkalicious?” He asked.

“If you’re just going to make fun of me, you can leave…” Karkat groaned.

“Sorry. It’s my duty as your best friend to fuck with you.” Dave smiled. “But honestly, like… What happened last night that led that?” He asked, not at all judgmental.

“Rose was alchemizing some of that human drink that makes you all weird and I was feeling a little like shit so we started drinking together and then we ended up in the common block with Kanaya and we started fucking with your husktop and Rose found a recording program on it. That drink made me feel good and funny and now I feel embarrassed and stupid remembering it.” Karkat confessed.

“Dude.” Dave smiled. “No. That shit is good and funny. It was fucking hilarious in an ironic sort of way. I can’t believe you were able to do something so coherently while you were drunk.” He said. “Like the funniest fucking thing is when you just go the fuck off at the end about spell check. I love it.”

Karkat just sighed.

“Come on, dude.” Dave said. “Come hang out. I swear, I won’t make fun of you.”

Karkat hesitated. “Fine…” He said. “I’m fucking hungry anyway.”

“Hell yeah, let’s go get you some food.” Dave said as he stood up and offered a hand to help his friend up. Karkat took his hand and Dave hauled him up before the two walked back to the kitchen where Rose had her head on the table and Kanaya had her hand on Rose’s back.

Kanaya looked up at the boys. “Oh, hello Karkat.” She smiled a little knowingly.

Karkat just groaned a little and avoided looking at her.

“How are you faring with the after effects of the drink?” Kanaya asked.

“My head stopped hurting a little while ago but the shame is still on me.” Karkat grumbled.

“At least you don’t have a migraine…” Rose grumbled with her head still on the table.

Dave smiled and opened up the fridge, tossing a juice box and a block of cheese at Karkat.

Karkat took a bite out of the block of cheese before opening up the juice box while Dave got his own juice box and an apple out of the fridge.

After a minute Dave and Karkat walked over to the table and sat down with the girls before Vriska and Terezi walked in giggling to each other.

“Oh hey, Karkalicious!” Vriska grinned.

Karkat groaned but said nothing.

“Aww, are you all tuckered out?” Vriska asked. “I would be too if I spent all night doing something SO embarrassing.”

“Come on, Vriska, ease up.” Dave said.

Karkat turned around in his seat and looked at Vriska. “How did you even find out about it?! Why the fuck were you snooping around on Dave’s husktop in the first fucking place?!”

Vriska shrugged. “Boredom mostly.” She said with a smile. “But now I’m not bored. Now I have so much material to make fun of you with, that I’m not sure I’ll ever be bored again.”

Karkat snorted out an angry breath and turned back around, slinking over to make himself small.

“Who put that shit together anyway?” Vriska asked. “Did you think about the fact that Dave would probably see it since you left it up on his husktop after you exported it?”

“I don’t fucking know! I passed the fuck out after I sang the stupid shit! I didn’t even know we were seriously recording it until after we were done!” Karkat snapped.

“I put it together with the music.” Kanaya said. “But I left it when Rose started to fall asleep. I wanted her to get to her respiteblock and I simply forgot about it after I escorted her there.”

“Great! So now I know who to blame for this!” Karkat huffed.

“Come on, man. Chill. Don’t start yelling at people.” Dave said.

Karkat just let out a huff of angry air and got up, walking out of the kitchen and back to his room.

Dave followed a minute after, knocking on his door, and listening for a reply only to be met with the muffled sound of crying coming from within.

After a minute of Karkat not responding to his knocking he announced that he was coming in and opened the door to see Karkat sitting on his floor and crying into a loose t-shirt.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” Dave asked with genuine concern as he shut the door and walked over to his best friend, kneeling down to sit next to him.

“Nothing…” Karkat cried quietly.

“Something’s wrong.” Dave said. “Is it just ‘cause people are making fun of you? ‘Cause I can try and convince them to lay off.”

Karkat shook his head.

“Than what is it? What’s wrong?” Dave asked.

Karkat sniffled and looked down at the shirt he was holding but didn’t say anything for a good minute. “I…” He finally started. “Everything in that stupid song… It’s… It’s the opposite of how I see myself…” He said quietly.

“What do you mean?” Dave asked.

“I mean… That stupid drink made me feel like I was hot shit but I’m not… I said things about how everyone wants me but that’s not how I feel, really… I feel like no one wants me… Not really…” Karkat confessed.

“Well that’s not true.” Dave said.

“It is though… No one’s lining up to fill any pails with me… No one ever will…” Karkat said. “I mean… It’s not like that’s all I care about, but… It’s just the fact that no one will ever feel that way about me… It’s really hitting me hard lately…”

“Why do you think no one wants you?” Dave asked.

Karkat shrugged. “First off, my whole planet is gone so there’s no more trolls left to want me and even if they weren’t all gone, none of them would love me because of my stupid mutant blood… And when it comes to people who are still alive… The only person I’d be even a little compatible with is Terezi and she doesn’t give a shit about me anymore… I mean… I guess that’s not the only person I feel like I’m compatible with but… The only other person I like is… Out of my league and WAY not interested…” He said.

“What person?” Dave asked. “I mean if you like someone, fucking go for it, they might feel the same.” He paused. “Is it the clown dude? Or the Mayor? I bet the Mayor is down for anything.” He attempted to encourage.

“No, Dave. It’s not Gamzee and it sure as shit isn’t the fucking Mayor.” Karkat said, still not looking at his best friend.

“Is it Vriska?” Dave asked. “Is it like a hate thing?”

“No…” Karkat said.

“So it’s Rose or Kanaya?” Dave asked. “I didn’t know you liked them but I think they’re pretty much just into each other.” He said, not putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

“No! It’s not Rose and it’s NOT Kanaya!” Karkat exclaimed in frustration.

Dave paused, thinking. “So… You’re upset ‘cause John isn’t interested? Or ‘cause him and Jade are so far away?” He asked, still not getting it.

“AUGH! No!” Karkat huffed. “It’s not John and it’s not Jade!”

“So you wanna date a ghost from one of the dream bubbles?” Dave asked.

Karkat groaned. “You’re so fucking stupid!” He let out, harsher than he meant to. “I don’t want to date any ghosts!”

Dave paused, again thinking. It took about a minute and a half for the gears to turn in his head. “Wait, but… That just leaves me…” He said and Karkat finally looked at him.

Karkat sniffled, he wasn’t crying anymore really, but his nose had become stuffy and runny the way noses do when people cry.

Dave stared at Karkat for a moment with confusion on his face. Karkat stared back at him with anxiety in his expression.

“You… You like me?” Dave asked.

Karkat hesitated but nodded and looked away, hiding his face from Dave.

Dave paused for a moment, processing this information before he started laughing.

Karkat looked back to his friend. “What’s so fucking funny?” He asked.

“Out of your league?!” Dave laughed. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! I’m on the bottom rung of the leagues! You’re the one who’s out of my league!”

Karkat’s face contorted to confusion. “What?” He asked.

“Karkat, you are so fucking far ahead of me in terms of leagues that I can’t even see you from where I’m sitting.” Dave smiled.

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “So… Wait… You aren’t mad that I like you?” He asked.

“No. Why would I be mad? I like you too.” Dave confessed.

“You do?!” Karkat asked, his eyes widening.

“Yeah, man. I thought you would get weird with me if I told you so I never said anything.” Dave admitted.

Karkat sniffled but cracked a smile. “So… Can we… Do you wanna be my matesprit?” He asked.

“Hell yeah, man.” Dave smiled. “Wait that’s the heart one right? I don’t wanna end up in the wrong quadrant with you.”

“Yeah. Matesprite is the redrom quadrant.” Karkat smiled.

“Cool. So does this mean I get to make out with you now?” Dave asked, eyebrows wiggling a little above his shades.

Karkat’s cheeks went a little red but he nodded.

“Nice.” Dave smiled and leaned in to kiss his best friend.


End file.
